P.O. Box 1074 Mooloolaba Qld 4557 |
Your big kid’s developing social skills
18 January 08Your big kid is off to school, and entering the wider social world of learning and making friends. For the first time they have to think about finding their own place in the world and feeling part of a social group, as well as trying to understand the rules of life, morals, manners and family values. Even though you're not with your child at school, there's still a lot you can do to help develop his social skills.
Your child develops social skills and learns to get along mostly through games and play. Even with all these new influences, during the early years of school your home life and family relationships are still the biggest influence on your child's development.
Encourage your child to find other people he admires as these role models will help him work out what sort of person he wants to be. And children also benefit socially from exposure to large networks of adults who have your big kid's best interests at heart, such as grandparents, relatives, neighbours and family friends.
You can encourage your big kid to develop his social skills in the following ways:
· Help him make friends. Encourage your child to play with other children outside of school hours, have sleepovers and help him join clubs and groups.
· Give suggestions and tips on ways to handle different situations at school and with friends. For instance: ‘Maybe if you shared your new toy it might help' or ‘Smiling makes people feel comfortable, so it helps if you smile when you first meet people'.
· Help your child to develop empathy and understand different points of view. This will help him to deal with conflict when it occurs. Describing your feelings and his throughout the day, and having conversations about how other people might feel can all help build empathy.
· Help your child to develop conversation skills, such as asking questions and listening to other children.
· Provide clothing that will help him fit in (unless your little individual already insists on wearing distinctive clothes, such as only black or only things with cars). At this age, most children don't want to feel like they are different or stand out.
· Talk with your child about behaviours such as teasing, bullying or self-centredness that may get in the way of making friends. This doesn't mean training your child not to say the things that make him unique, but helps him understand what sort of comments could upset others or lead to teasing.